Dreaming

                 ^{When you live in a world where you're not quite sure how to separate your reality and your dreaming, how often do you break your own heart?}

My nights were filled with them. The wishes of my heart, or so Cinderella claimed them to be.

Those dreams you wake up from, and every fiber of your being wishes for it to be true... Where every night you're afraid, and yet eager to close your eyes knowing you will have everything you want for a few blissful seconds- but soon enough daylight will come and rip it away.



When I was with him, I dreamed of others.
He was a constant in my life- When my day was filled with nothing but him, why would he visit me at night?


But after months of no contact, nothing but glimpses of him being happy with other people, he still breaks my heart... Every night, to be exact.



There are two rules of the world that seem to be running my life.

The ever so hopeful "Time heals all wounds", and the black promise of "Absence makes the heart grow fonder".


For mere minutes each night, he comes to me and holds my hand. I scream in the back of my mind It's not real. Don't believe it. But I still reach for him, still feel him holding onto me.



Some say that hope is the strongest thing in the world, only second to love.
And I have to say that I agree.

No matter how much I want to rid myself of the hope inside, the longing, I can't stop my crazy heart from dreaming.

The love I've put on hold... I don't feel the sensations I used to. I can still control that.


But this silly thing called hope? It just can't be crushed.
Instead it crushes me. Each and every night.


^{When you have all you could ever want in the world promised to you, just laying there in your hands, do you cherish it? Do you welcome it with open arms? Or do you just close your eyes and wait for the moment it'll ripped away?}

For me, I felt it ripped away and simply nodded to the world. I had known it would happen.


But having it dangled in front of me... So close for a few precious moments...
It's the worst cruelty I could've ever imagined.