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Innocence (73)Tired of mumbling when they mention your name-
Desperate, longing, to simply be sane.
Want to be free, to dance with the wind
No longer thinking what we had was sin.
Used to be open, carefree and young
Long before we knew how love truly stung.
Now so broken with patches and scars,
Thinking this plan has never been ours.
Sure there's a reason for every small tear,
But gratitude is something you will not find here.
Give it some time, let memories build up
Don't think about all the days now corrupt.
Oh to be innocent like I once was,
To answer my questions with words like "Because"
Without having to worry about things in the past...
Not really wondering how long we would last.
My Dream Not SoI have a dream...
About a hundred or two.
And they seem to revolve
Around one person- You.
I want to get married,
To have a few kids.
Then smile at the camera
Kick back, and live.
In all honesty though,
I have to admit-
I want to have freedom
The chance to just quit.
To see the whole world,
Ten countries or more.
And fly through the mountains
With dangers galore.
If I can't have that
I'd certainly settle
Near someone who listens,
But never would meddle.
And if I couldn't-
Have something so small,
I'd rather have you
Than nothing at all.
For in this thoughtful
Yet sad strand of rhyme,
I just have to realize
One dream at a time.
So I'll go watch,
See you living my dreams.
'Cuz nothing is right in this
Reality it seems.
Golden DreamsDreams falling from my hand
Like small golden grains of sand.
I watch them, sparkle and shine,
Knowing they will never be mine.
They're stolen, one by one
Shot far from me by a gun.
One was plucked apart by love,
Another kidnapped by a dove.
Hate is sharp and tears them-
Pain's strength has crushed them.
I just watch them all,
In their golden waterfall.
Pain's Obsession (7)I wonder, do they see?
This sadness inside of me
Does it scream out from my eyes;
Should they even be surprised?
When every time they say his name,
I feel this quiet aching pain
How could they notice the way I turn,
Shying away from the age old burn.
Trying to smile, to be happy- Whatnot,
Yet tiredly fighting the urge to be caught.
If I would scream and howl and shout,
Would they even turn about?
The memories that haunt me day and night
Are something I've given up trying to fight-
Indeed, I wish to remember his face...
And yet it's gone, it cannot be placed.
When everyone 'round me has forgotten the past,
Each time it is mentioned I try not to gasp.
I want to be free from memories' old snare
To look at the pain and find it not there.
For surely in hurting I am making a choice,
To stifle my cries, to silence my voice
In a strange tangled way this type of depression
Is making this pain a certain obsession.
If I Was Honest (93)If I was honest,
I'd tell you my past.
If I were true,
I'd say we could last.
If I could tell you of me;
I'd raise you up higher,
And help you to fly.
If I was honest,
I'd hold you so tight.
If I were gentle,
I'd walk in the light.
If I could whisper of you;
I'd hold you so gently,
Oh darling don't leave.
If I was honest,
I'd rip you to pieces.
If I weren't frightening,
I'd smooth all our creases.
If I could give you of me;
I know that we'd vanish,
Your innocence would fall.
An Ode of YouOh sweetheart, dear darling, you helped me to grow
All the years I looked to you- And when, did I know?
A longing, desire, unforgivable love had sprung on me
Yet all I can see, precious, is what I regret will never be.
Eyes of blue that captured me, with soon I was enchanted
You treated me as equal, but I took you for granted-
Infatuated by the impossible, the magic of it all
When did you trip me- Cause me to fall?
The stability with which you held me up had me gripping you so tightly,
I drank the feeling of attention- Intoxicated, slightly.
This aching, this wanting, just makes it stronger still
If withdrawal doesn’t kill me, then I don’t know what will.
But your total physique and your frustrating cheek
Are few on the list of what makes me feel weak-
For your rough callused hands which once I thought I knew,
Simply confirm that I hate to love you.
Purity (64)It's not a matter of peace or war
But a matter of the heart-
When you seem to hear the mighty roar
Of truth being torn apart.
And it goes without saying,
'tis right and wrong-
So simply betraying
The law of the strong.
For purity, though great,
Isn't contained up above.
See you love to hate-
Yet I hate to love.
A Peaceful Storm (14)She turns her head when storms come by
Her mind runs far away-
So easy when she learned to lie,
She had nothing to say.
Her hand holds tight to one last hope
And her spirit has long been broken.
But since he gave her a fraying rope
Her words are never spoken.
Hiding in her house of past
She has nothing but time.
She stares out windows of broken glass
And remembers when she was fine.
But every time the clouds come round
She worries more and more-
Could it be her fear to have found
Some peace within this storm?
As she steps out she wears her coat
But she's finally facing the rain.
She's letting loose of his old note
And crying away the pain.
A Teacup Heart (94)My heart is like a teacup,
Full of cracks and ridged seams.
So many times I wake up
From a world of broken dreams
So close to breaking-
Will I be shattered again?
I watch the pieces shaking
How many times can they mend?
I blame you and you blame me,
And it goes on back and forth.
How many times do I have to see
That you are my true north?
If I pick up our teacups in pieces,
And we put them together with rhyme
We'd never smooth out all the creases,
But we'd stand the test of time.
The KeyThere's a key that I've hidden away.
Beneath the trinkets and lace.
I've kept it buried deep.
In hopes no one will find it's hiding place.
It holds treasure.
That's rarely been touched.
I've kept it hidden.
It's been shattered enough.
If by some unusual miracle.
You stumble by it's place of rest.
Hold it safely in your hands.
And never let it go.
No Longer. No More.... sleep and never wake up again.
This is his prayer, his only friend.
Lost in delusions he still finds truth
but it's his heart he can never reboot.
His nightmare isn't worth living for.
Blinded by his own stupidity
nevertheless reminded for infinity
that all he had was made to lose.
No matter what he finds, he can never choose.
Strange whispers won't feed his core.
Crawled in the corner of his bed
he's haunted by the words he never said.
Locked his world inside the Scrolls of Time
remaining in the past, the darkness starts to shine.
His empty vessel bleeds out on the floor
What do you see?When you look into my eyes
What do you see?
When you speak my name
When you pull me close
Are you really that broken?
So you no longer feel the love I give
The affection I show
Or the hope my eyes try to be
Come over here now
Tell me your truth
Show me those tears
And I'll tell you my truth
Show you my fears
I'll tell you about a girl
A girl who found hope in the most hopeless boy
Let me wipe the dripping sorrow of your cheeks
as I figure out what you need right now
Let me be the first person ever to be there for you
I'll tell you this story,
I'm sure you will appreciate it
the girl is cute and boy so strong
A happy ending too, just as it should be
Just as it will be
So come over here now
Crawl up into my arms
Let me listen to your heartbeat
so I can hear you be alive and healthy with me
and I'll let you listen to my calming voice
so you can relax and learn how to rely on someone
Then tell me, when you look into my eyes
what do you see?
Keeping My SanityEvery night I'm struggling, being an insomniac,
Unable to fall asleep, rest I always lack;
Different thoughts bothering me, haunting me till dawn,
Trying to suffice my need to sleep with this yawn.
Why now, of all time, am I feeling so much pain?
When will my strength and willpower be regained?
How many pillows must I need to stain with tears?
What will I do to fight away my foolish fears?
I'm confused and perplexed with all of these nonsense,
Insanity taunts if this becomes more intense;
As early as possible I want this to stop,
Want to get away from this labyrinthine trap.
These challenges I'm facing will soon be shut down,
Once I make a move and defeat this shameless clown;
This maze he set for me should not be overlooked,
That is one of the things that I seem to mistook.
I have to face this alone, as I always do,
I must trust no one when most are hiding their hue;
Finishing this journey's an independent act,
I hope my body and soul will still be intact.
Fighting in these silent bat
GoodbyeAm I better off dead?
Am I better off a quitter?
They say I'm better off now
Than I ever was with him.
I try to drink your memory away.
I tried to free myself from your cold body.
You gave me no comfort,
What shall I do now that I am alone?
Shall I put a gun to my head?
Or shall I live on with no real reason to live?
I would just exist, just be a sore eye to humanity.
I think I shall end it all.
Make everyone happy.
They wont even notice I'm gone,
No one would care.
Only way anyone will know who I am is by this letter
I write to no one.
To those I hate, I will see you on the other side
Join me in hell, ill be waiting....
If the Dawn met NightIf you are the dawn and my heart is the night,
Where is the connection which keeps us alight?
As you breathe in I fall into dreams,
And your morning air rocks me softly sleep
Each time we pass we see a different sight,
You the dark and I the light,
And all there can be is a faint foreign touch,
As the day slips into dusk.
Through the looking glassIs this all real?
What is this sensation we feel?
Are we just reliving the life we once lived?
Did we die already and just get revived?
Who once decided what's left and right?
Who sees everything in black or white?
Is this whole world just a dream?
Is this all part of some scheme?
The answers to the questions were not written in ink
It always changes no matter how much you think
Because you're neither right nor wrong
People have been searching for answers for so long
Laws and rules,
Are just some of our tools
Tools to make this world seem more vast
If they are not believed in then they are just the past
Do we have some weird ideal?
Are we nothing yet real?
An answer is that ''we are'' therefore we exist
But that doesn't always mean we can coexist
Searching for answers can lead us to depression
But when we find the answer, do we remember what is the question?
A Poets DreamSomeday I will steal a poet
and make her yearn for me.
Her eyes will be as beautiful
as the words she speaks.
In the night
I will make her sing.
When morning comes
to shine its light,
those eyes will hold no resentment
She will place no blame upon my skin,
She will see me for who I am really am.
She will see me for me.
At that moment
I will light her way
will smile for me.
The girl who loves
Play with it.
Then throw it.
I don't need it,not without you.
I am cold,dead when you're away.
You might as well break the son of a bitch into two.
I told you,stay away from me.
I am pure sin,I bathe in others pain.
But look what happens when a sin meets the Devil,
Dancing in the dark,kissing in the rain.
I never knew there could be someone,
Someone as sinful as me.
My darkness,your touch has enchanted my soul.
And now,you're calling me your queen.
But what are we,my love?
Just a couple of mortals gone to the bad?
In the end,we are all humans
Without many words left to be said.
So here's my heart,on the silver plate.
I kept my lips silent,my body was in your arms.
I am falling,I know this is hell,
But promise me I'll be your lucky charm.
I need to be your other part,
The one I am,the one brighter than your moon,
The pretty face you kiss in the mornings,
Love,you made me trust you.
Pieces (24)My life is full of fragments,
The pieces of what was;
As sharp as severed glasses
Reminders of dead love.
So rough around the edges,
I'm always being cut;
The sting of broken pledges
And doors that can’t be shut.
This house seems to be empty
And I’m stranded all alone.
I wonder who has left me-
Should I call this place my home?
Where the shadows silently linger,
Was it once where angels played?
Could the touch of a gentle finger
Have made our love be stayed?
Looking back at all the pieces
Of the life we left behind,
My hand slowly releases
What is left of all our time.
IowaIf you visit Iowa,
you'll call her fields empty,
but she wasn't born that way.
A part of her was carved out
when she was ripped between Virginia
and the purple mountains of New Mexico.
Her gold hair, she tore it out when she realized
it didn't make her a princess.
She laid her locks strung along every road
leading somewhere else.
White hairs on her cheeks
are scars from winter.
Her hair darkens with the dampness
of summer rains.
The storms are never silent,
but neither is life when there's a tear
in your childhood where
a parent ought to be.
I've been flooded by Iowa's sorrow.
The only way I can distract her from her own voided landscape
is if I hate myself harder than she cries.
She just wants to fly
and I want to bus or train,
not because I fear death, but because
I want to take living slow.
It's the only way I ever feel.
From the air it's hard to watch Earth's hips move.
But Earth can't compare to the country.
That's my girl.
Full grown even when harvesting season's j
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scheinbar is a much-loved and well-known deviant. Just one look at her gallery, filled with enchanting photography, will have you mesmerized. A deviant for over 7 years, Christiane can always be found posting inspirational features as well as regularly commenting on other deviations and encouraging and empowering her fellow deviants. We are inspired and insist that you too stop by and congratulate ... Read More